I have always tried to be independent when I was growing up, which drove my mother crazy. I don't know what it is but I do not like to have to rely on other people, unless I have absolutely no choice and usually, I make sure that the no-choice bit is not an option. Also, in recent years, I have found myself becoming more of a feminist. There are certain things that most women can't and won't do without a man's help like moving furniture or connecting the cables of a new DVD player to the tele, replacing the huge bottle at the water dispenser when it ran out or change the light bulb on the ceiling.
Being the feminist that I am, I get very determined to do all these without any assistance from the stronger sex (hell, I am strong too, mind you!) The hard disk on my PC went kaput; I'll buy a new one and replace it myself. I'd move my own furniture when needed and assemble one of those self-assembly furniture when I bought one. Hell, I'll try to figure out everything on my own.
Having grown up in Asia, where women are generally not treated equal - it may not be so obvious here in Singapore or other parts of Asia but such gender bias do exist around these parts of the world. Come on, I am sure other Asian women agree that generally the men here can be quite chauvinist. Do you ever see them let you board the train first? Or open the heavy door at the entrance to the shopping malls for you? Give you compliments when you are looking your best? I think most of you female readers would say the answer is 'No'. And it suits me just fine. I can open my own door. I can board the train after you, no problem (I just need to shove you if the train is full and you are not moving further into the train car). I don't need compliments from men too because Asian men (or Asians in general) are very not eloquent when it comes down giving compliments and who needs to hear a bad compliment? A simple "You look very nice today" would come out from their mouths as "Why you dress so nice today?" I keep telling myself that it was just direct translation from what they are used to speaking in their dialects and translating it to English just sounded like it was a crime to dress up nicely that day. I can dwell on that but I'll save that for another blog post since this could be a whole other topic on its own.
Back to the point about being independent…… I have been told I can be too independent and that is the sort of thing that drive men away. It seems like being a woman, I need to learn to let the man help me sometimes. It seems like a man likes their women to be dependent on them, a little less smarter, not to be too strong minded, etc. In other words, be a bit of bimbo. Frankly speaking, I cannot see myself being that way. If I do, then it would not be me. It is out of character for yours truly.
However, the other day, I decided to put the bimbotic act to the test. I was in the pantry at work to get some water. Unfortunately, the bottle at the water dispenser was empty. To replace the empty bottle wasn't hard cause the new water dispenser doesn't require the bottle to be lifted, you simply has slide the bottle to the tube and voila! I was about to slide the bottle to the dispenser when this 'hunk' of a man walked in and saw me trying to replace the bottle. I knew at the back of my head that he was going to offer to help and I told myself that I was going to let him. He did offer and I gladly accept. He was a visitor and has never seen a dispenser of this sort before. He asked for directions on how to replace it. In my head, I was saying "Man, I could have replace the bottle in less than 10 seconds but now, I have to explain and it will take a good minute!" However, I explained it to him with a smile on my face and we had a quick conversation before he left with a glass filled with water.
I had a mixed feeling about my experiment. Having a man helping me to do something which I could have done myself made me feel so incapable. On the other hand, I may have boosted his ego a bit and had a little chat with him, which was pleasant. I’d like to get experimenting again soon and perhaps this time in an environment outside of work. It will not come naturally for me but I think I will give it a try. Grins!
Being the feminist that I am, I get very determined to do all these without any assistance from the stronger sex (hell, I am strong too, mind you!) The hard disk on my PC went kaput; I'll buy a new one and replace it myself. I'd move my own furniture when needed and assemble one of those self-assembly furniture when I bought one. Hell, I'll try to figure out everything on my own.
Having grown up in Asia, where women are generally not treated equal - it may not be so obvious here in Singapore or other parts of Asia but such gender bias do exist around these parts of the world. Come on, I am sure other Asian women agree that generally the men here can be quite chauvinist. Do you ever see them let you board the train first? Or open the heavy door at the entrance to the shopping malls for you? Give you compliments when you are looking your best? I think most of you female readers would say the answer is 'No'. And it suits me just fine. I can open my own door. I can board the train after you, no problem (I just need to shove you if the train is full and you are not moving further into the train car). I don't need compliments from men too because Asian men (or Asians in general) are very not eloquent when it comes down giving compliments and who needs to hear a bad compliment? A simple "You look very nice today" would come out from their mouths as "Why you dress so nice today?" I keep telling myself that it was just direct translation from what they are used to speaking in their dialects and translating it to English just sounded like it was a crime to dress up nicely that day. I can dwell on that but I'll save that for another blog post since this could be a whole other topic on its own.
Back to the point about being independent…… I have been told I can be too independent and that is the sort of thing that drive men away. It seems like being a woman, I need to learn to let the man help me sometimes. It seems like a man likes their women to be dependent on them, a little less smarter, not to be too strong minded, etc. In other words, be a bit of bimbo. Frankly speaking, I cannot see myself being that way. If I do, then it would not be me. It is out of character for yours truly.
However, the other day, I decided to put the bimbotic act to the test. I was in the pantry at work to get some water. Unfortunately, the bottle at the water dispenser was empty. To replace the empty bottle wasn't hard cause the new water dispenser doesn't require the bottle to be lifted, you simply has slide the bottle to the tube and voila! I was about to slide the bottle to the dispenser when this 'hunk' of a man walked in and saw me trying to replace the bottle. I knew at the back of my head that he was going to offer to help and I told myself that I was going to let him. He did offer and I gladly accept. He was a visitor and has never seen a dispenser of this sort before. He asked for directions on how to replace it. In my head, I was saying "Man, I could have replace the bottle in less than 10 seconds but now, I have to explain and it will take a good minute!" However, I explained it to him with a smile on my face and we had a quick conversation before he left with a glass filled with water.
I had a mixed feeling about my experiment. Having a man helping me to do something which I could have done myself made me feel so incapable. On the other hand, I may have boosted his ego a bit and had a little chat with him, which was pleasant. I’d like to get experimenting again soon and perhaps this time in an environment outside of work. It will not come naturally for me but I think I will give it a try. Grins!
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